....has led up to this.
Not this post specifically but maybe just this thought.
A more Personal post~
I started writing this in my notebook at about 11:30 at night so please excuse some tired errors.
I'm not that good at writing (emotional?) posts like this, I really and to the point.
So here goes,
So with my 13 years of compulsory schooling behind me, how do I feel? Strange? Different? More mature?
-Hmm, not particularly. I'm still just me haha.
I'll share some memories I have of these 13 years, some are more vivid than others, others have just become a blur.
Kindergarten. Year 1 and Year 2.
I started kindy in Australia, finished in Sweden. I really remember running in the playground in my primary school in Narrabeen during the recess breaks. In that year I also remember moving. It really was a year of changes. From Austalia to China first, I lived there for a month and a bit. For a short period I enrolled in a preschool/kindergarten and I specifically remember everyone speaking Mandarin and me being the only one who spoke Shanghainese. One of my most vivid memories in where we had to eat all of the food which we were served at the canteen during lunchtime. Me just being a kid, I didn't eat the mushrooms, mostly because I'd never seen them before. When my teacher saw this she took the spoon and shoved them in my mouth. Ever since then I've refused to eat mushrooms unless it is necessary. //scarred for life// Another memory is when I had no idea was to what the other kids were doing and whist they were doing their sums and times tables on their abacuses, I was just rocking mine back and forth, unbeknownst to my own lack of understanding. It really opened my eyes up to the level at which Chinese children studied.
From my short lived time in Shanghai off we went to Sweden, residing in Nassjö. The school I attended was really nice, I really love going there at the time, although I'd transferred about mid school year in and there was a great language barrier. I remember on Wednesday's we'd have out day where we'd go into the surrounding woodland and we'd explore the wilderness and observe nature, trying not to harm anything. I also remember for Christmas we were doing rehearsal's for a carols night and about 4 students fainted off of the stage. Luckily during the actual performance none did. During my time in Sweden I did forget a lot of my English, to the stage that I could not speak it at all, and I even managed to misspell "Police". One of my teachers Lotta, tries desperately to help me retain it and for that I am forever indebted to her.
To 2002 March I moved to Shanghai again where I stayed for 3 months. Originally it was supposed to only be 2 month but upon arrival to the airport we were told that our tickets were actually booked for June not July when we got there. That evening mum flew out whilst Kevin and I stayed in China with my grandfather and Grandmother.
We finally arrived in Australia in late July and I enrolled in my 4th primary school in 3 years. Funnily enough, on the second day I was there, it was the school's athletics carnival and I was so lost! At that school I met Katrina which started off with me picking up a ruler from the floor labelled Nixon and saying to her "Hello Nixon" ....yup, I didn't know her first name. In that school I also met Mitch in year 2. Haha Ah,
It really was a eh year. There were 5 of us year 3 students in a mixed year 2/3 class.
... brought a year which passes by pretty quickly again. I remember the lottery system in my class (and in that winning a few times too!) and trying to be the first one in the class to solve the find-a-word of the week.
...meant another school change where I entered the (Lack of) Opportunity Class. I was lucky Katrina transferred with me.....and Mitch too.
Year 5 and 6 were kind of a blur. I don't remember the most amazing things. I do remember how I used to really like a tree at the school haha. Withing those two years I was a part of the recorder ensemble and even got to play the opera house!
Year 7 was probably one of my least favourite in hindsight. I really did not fin a group which I could associate with. I had friends, yes, but never really had a 'group' I enjoyed being with. There was, in that a period of bullying where I pretty much only had books as friends.
Year 8 brought me closer to Anita and it was when really started to hang out with her and her group. In that phase I vividly remember Jen introducing me to Linkin Park and that year also instigated my love for Anime and Manga.
Mid year 8 and year 9 i migrate d groups again and hung out with some of the older grade and I was pretty happy with them.
Years 9-11 I found my group of friends, although I did still drift sometimes. I was a lot closer to Mitch, Tim, Kress and John. And thank goodness for them. Year 9 became my year of developing self awareness and I was so much happier hanging out with Kress Tim, Mitch and John. I felt like I was really a part of their group and they accepted me, although I was the only girl. Year 10 is a bi blur. I remember aspects, like my science teacher questioning my bad result in a test only to top the class in the following topic test haha.
I remember playing badminton for sport~ and I really enjoyed that,
Year 11 I really loved. I got more into anime/manga and embraced it more and in so became more open about my music interests, especially Jrock and visual Kei. I was so fortunate my friends accepted my quirks.
Yeah 11 also bought magic to our group and I remember it fueling a super big craze where the whole downstairs of the library just became a bug magic tournament.
That year in August Anita introduced me to Kpop and that really opened up so many doors for me. I made so many new friends online and am so happy for it. Including the Popasia team ^^
Year 12 brought tears, a lot of them.
Many tears spent on assessments. English extension 2 major, I'm looking at you. But we persevere.
It was a year of missed opportunity in some cases, but it was a year. A year of my life I really don't want to forget.
The way that my friends stuck by me even in my pissiest moods, I really love them for that and I really regret nothing in these 13 years.
I am who I am because of the choices I've made in my life. Be it because I acted in a particular way or didn't, as long as I look back and I can remember a single instant where I am smiling, then I know that there are no regrets in the past. Only experiences to be made for the future.
So really to anyone which is going through school or work or just life, Enjoy it. Savour those moments where you're smiling with others and remember what is important. Learn from experience. Make mistakes. Be afraid sometimes, but never let it hinder you.
The only thing I wish is that I cold remember more experiences. Of course I haven't said everything here, but there are still so many that I want to retrieve. I guess I'm most upset about how quickly everything has passed by and I really hope that in the end the future has a positive looks.
To finish a photo.
Not a photo of my crying, there are far too many of those floating around the interwebs taken at me graduation, leavers ceremony and formal (not to mention when I finished my last exam) but I digress. It's a smile. What for? I don't know myself/ For the future. Maybe. For my hopes and dreams? I don't know for sure. but it's a smile.
Life goes on. New experiences await you the next day wherever you go. To take a line from my favourite band,
"Tomorrow never dies"